The Essence of Change – a poem by Portia Nelson
This brilliant poem by Portia Nelson has long been used in the context of 12-step programs to model the process of recovery. At the heart of the message is the reality that recovery is an active and ongoing responsibility of the person in recovery; countless excuses have come and gone and all have been appropriately exposed as the irresponsible claims of “not my fault…”. Yes, it is the responsibility of the person in recovery to show up (you won’t get better if you’re not physically present), follow the process (take a huge gulp of humility and recognize your best thinking led you to being trapped in your addiction without the ability to escape), stay the course (it takes patience, persistence and courage – this won’t happen overnight), accept help (others have been where you are and have achieved sobriety and are enjoying freedom – stick with the winners – don’t hang out with people who don’t have what you want), do the work (only you can do the work that will lead to recovery and freedom from misery and despair – others will help, but the work is yours to do), help others (even if you’ve only been sober one day, you have one day more than someone else and can engage and support them – this is how 12-step programs work), and keep it simple (trust God, clean house, help others – that’s really it – it’s not more complicated than this simple 3-step circular directive).
Follow this model and you’ll start seeing yourself moving through the chapters below; the weight on your mind and body will begin to lighten, the foggy lens through which you see yourself and all of life will become increasingly clear, and your confidence in yourself as you navigate your journey to wellness will expand.
Chapter I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.
Chapter II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter V
I walk down a different street.